Emotions and Divorce

Divorcing couples usually follow a four-stage pattern as they work through the issues involved in separation.

First Stage: denial of the problem

Even though a spouse may no longer wish to be married, she/he may still want to hold onto their marriage. The fear of the unknown or becoming autonomous is overwhelming at this stage.

Second Stage: facing reality

This stage involves facing reality and realizing one must let go of this marriage. Characteristically, people in this stage experience feelings of anger, rejection, grief and loss. However, they also begin to focus their life on the present and feel relief for having made this decision.

Third Stage: exploring

This is the stage of exploring—a time of expansion, of increased energy, of experimentation—a starting over.

Forth Stage: building the future

This forth and final stage is one of settling down and building a new a more stable future.

Throughout these stages, life can have torturous moments, particularly in the earlier stages. Mediation assists you in 'diagnosing' what stage of the divorce process you are in and if you may need more time before you can make decisions regarding the divorce.